The Crime Hump Chronicles: Tomorrow Never Lies | Unpublished
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Unpublished Opinions

space-coyote's picture
Smiths Falls, Ontario
About the author

Irony, satire and farce - these are a few of my favorite things.

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The Crime Hump Chronicles: Tomorrow Never Lies

February 19, 2017

This is part three of The Crime Hump Chronicles, the creative non-fiction narrative of quantum events. More info, including a list of the charges can be found here, KelleyandDerek.com.

My Friday starts. My husband already has the coffee on. I read our small town’s local weekly newspaper. I’m in it again.

It’s a school day and the morning is busy. I drop the kids off at school. I can tell who reads the newspaper by the glares I get.

I spend the day volunteering downtown at the drop-in centre.

I go to pick up my kids from school. Also waiting at the front office are various school staff and parents that have said some not-so-nice things about me on social media. I hope if they come to my trial, they brace themselves for the shocking truth, again. We drive home and my kids tell me about their day.

We play, eat, clean-up, play, do homework, play, then I put my kids to bed. I stretch out on my chair for about an hour, play on my computer before getting ready for work.

There is a heated debate about basic income going on in our town. I’m in a Facebook group about it. Unfortunately, the mayor’s wife is also in this group. I know if I post anything, she will kick me out of the group. I just can’t help myself though. Within ten minutes, I am banned. At least a few people got to read my article.

I throw on my backpack and work clothes. I have a voicemail. He wants me to pick up while I’m in the city. I call my other phone, the one Detective/Constable Rodcocker seized. He left the same message on it. I think I should tell him not to call that number, but I don’t want to tell him that my house was raided. I could make something up, but I can’t lie. No time for an ethics debate. It won’t be a problem for another week and I should leave now.

I drive to the city. I work in a bad neighborhood. I work all night. I have a physically demanding job. In the morning, I am very tired.

I stop to pick up on my way home. I ring the buzzer at a side door. A guy lets me in. He is the same guy that always lets me in. He lets me go to the back now. There are four carts and they are full. I bring them to my van and start loading. I drive back to my small town to drop it off. I am beyond tired at this point. I know this because I have a rush of energy. Usually one of the regulars walks by and helps me unload in exchange for first pick of the treats.

This week, we got a lot of muffins and apple turnovers. I put the baguettes on a chair to prop open the door while we unload my van. They need to be given out today because they’ll be as solid as a rock by tomorrow. The centre has lots of bread to give out this week. While we unload the van, a local business owner stops by and asks if she can bring her leftover knitted mittens and hats. I tell her yes, absolutely!

I finally go home. My husband already has the coffee on. I’m not sure when, but my Saturday has already begun. 

Sounds like a typical day in the life of a cyber terrorist, right? Was there an unprecedented hack? Or was there a not-so unprecedented breach of statutory duty? Today, the newspapers only report the allegations made against me. But tomorrow never lies. The truth will come out. It always does. To learn more, please visit KelleyandDerek.com.