Jane Doe Hacker No More

Jane Doe Hacker No More
Posted on September 2, 2018 | Kelley Denham | Written on September 2, 2018
Letter type:
Blog Post



Author's Note:

Author's Note:

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It’s been over two years since I spent nearly two hours being interrogated by my arresting officer. This after spending some time in a holding cell. I remained silent but that didn’t stop him from irately mocking every aspect of my life. He kept repeating wrong facts in a vain attempt to get me to break my silence and correct him. He kept mentioning this multi-million-dollar class-action lawsuit and stressing how I am the defendant, a hacker listed as Jane Doe. I knew that I would soon have my chance to speak with class counsel and present my evidence to those concerned with the facts. My interrogator had no interest in the facts and so I kept quiet.

Judicial proceedings are not quick processes. A whole lot can happen in two years but in this same regard, the opposite can be true. It all still feels the same, like the years haven’t changed, the leaves never fell and Christmas 2016 is still months away. But it’s not the same. The years did change. We enjoyed many seasons, more than once. Christmas 2018 is coming and we are all two years older now. Nothing is the same but it doesn’t feel that way. I’ve spent a lot of time in court rooms big and small and deciphered region-specific practice directions pertaining to the administration of the law. I daydream in material facts and procedural challenges and find solace in the legalese that’s written on the walls.

I hear the notification alarm that I have received a new email. My heart always sinks a little when I hear that sound. Good news and bad news always come by way of email. I’ve had my fair share of both. The subject line reads ‘Reasons for Decision.’ I have been waiting for this email. It is the civil court Judge’s reason for decision on several motions that were before him a few months ago. One of those decisions, I’ve been discontinued as a defendant in that multi-million-dollar class-action lawsuit. Many of my friends are class-members and we always joked about hanging out with the opposing party. It’s that kind of dark humor people use to help cope with bad situations. I still face other proceedings regarding what happened but the truth already freed me from one. The truth will free me from the others.

Kelley Denham

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space-coyote's picture

Irony, satire and farce - these are a few of my favorite things.