The Crime Hump Chronicles: Blue Balls of Justice

The Crime Hump Chronicles: Blue Balls of Justice
Posted on March 26, 2017 | Kelley Denham | Written on March 26, 2017
Letter type:
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Author's Note:

Author's Note:

This is part five of The Crime Hump Chronicles, the creative non-fiction narrative of quantum events. More info, including a list of my charges can be found here,

It’s a cold, rainy day. The perfect ambience to set a trial date. At this point, any day is a perfect day to set my trial date. I’ve been ready and trying to do this for over three months. I get up early to get the day ready. I’m not nearly as anxious as I’ve been in the past. I know what to do. I know what to expect. It should be over quick. I don’t like waiting. If I were them, I’d want to rip the bandage off quick.

I get to the court house. The docket is long but there aren’t nearly as many people here as there was last time. I’m waiting for the courtroom door to be unlocked. The small talk among friends who meet in this place is interesting. There was a drug raid in my small town and one of the accused is beside me, talking about it. She says they were there for 27 hours. She says that for six hours, her kids were in the house. She talks about telling her kids not to worry. That they were not going to find what they were looking for. She says her kid witnessed one of the cops hold a gun to another adult’s head when he reached for something. She says the adult wasn’t phased, until he saw the kid looking at them. I think I know the guy she was referring to. He was here last month talking about it too. If it’s true, I’m appalled by the local law enforcement. Talk amongst accused criminals in a place like this feels so honest. We all know the procedures and can challenge any inconsistencies. Her story sounds genuine.

The intercom comes on and calls all counsel wishing to set a trial date to courtroom one. I head to courtroom one. There is plenty of seating. My lawyer had called me that morning with his availability and instructions. I have been acting as sort of an agent for my lawyer, on my own behalf. It’s a lot cheaper this way and I am confident in this role. All the lawyers go first. The court asks if there is any other counsel wishing to set a trial date. I stand up and give the instructions I was given. The crown recognizes me and comes to speak with me. He says that because it is a ten-day trial, they want to get a Judge from out of town to preside exclusively over this case. He says they will have to stay the matter over for another week, so they can get his availability too.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. At least the time in between adjournments is getting smaller. I want to say that next week, on April 3rd, I will finally be setting my trial date but experience has taught me otherwise. If the crown wanted to proceed quickly, my trial would be over by now. The scales of justice are not in balance. I’m ready and willing, but disappointed again.

Kelley Denham

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Irony, satire and farce - these are a few of my favorite things.